One little letter – Family Photographer Sydney
WELCOME! I know there is a lot of gimmicks out there and advice and people offering solutions to all of the worlds problems, so I have been a bit hesitant to share this information and keep it to myself but then again I thought, maybe there are some out there who would benefit from a little trick I discovered to instantly turn your day around. I am a family photographer working across Sydney, but I am also a mum of two with a household to run and I found a way that really helps me stay afloat when I notice I am getting snowed under. Thats not to say that I don’t collapse in heap and have a good breakdown from time to time, I don’t think anyone is immune to that but this helps me.
So this is all about one simple tiny change that will change your day.
Parenting can be tough. In actual fact it is tough. If it wasn’t tough then it wouldn’t be parenting. We all get overwhelmed, absolutely each and everyone of us at one point or another… or many points… Especially when we have work, we have households to run, businesses to run, older children to look after. We lock ourselves out of the house, we forget to buy milk and toilet paper, the uniform our childs need to put on to go to school is still wet in the machine from the night before, the fridge is empty, everyone is sick the list goes on. It’s a constant combination of rainbows and unicorns mixed with snot and tantrums. It can be tough, and while people mean well in saying “It will get easier, hang in there.” But it never helps you straight away when you are at the end of your line and need it the most.
One thing that I found when I was expecting my first child was that during the whole pregnancy/birth/newborn stage the one and only thing you can control is your attitude. The way you see things will directly affect everything else in your life so in saying that, in the delivery room and life in general things may not go according to plan, more than likely they won’t go according to plan. You’ll be thrown a few curveballs a few surprises but if you keep your attitude positive and grateful you will come out the other side with a much better experience even though it may have been pretty horrific.
Now we all had our ups and downs I think the stats for mental health currently say that everyone (EVERYONE) at some point in their life will have mental health issues. If we think we are on a downward spiral it is important to get professional help. My tip below is a wonderful self care concept for everyday use but there is no reason why a thorough health check (physical and mental) would be anything but an absolutely great idea if you are concerned or unsure.
Now the one constant that stuck with me over the last 14 years (my eldest in 14 in two weeks!) and just life in general, is that the one thing that you can control is your attitude, your mental state, the way you see every situation you encounter. Learning to control your mind is an everyday mission that I have been working on with someone special who I love who struggled a little through primary school. For a child to learn to control their mind and choose their reaction is such an incredible challenge! Everything has two sides of the coin – positive/negative… you’ve heard it all before… the glass is half full, the glass is half empty yada yada yada… but I discovered this simple trick to help keep a positive frame of mind just a year or so ago. A simple trick that I learnt to catch myself and turn myself around when I could see I was on a downhill slide.
So I might sit here in the morning and say “I’ve got to wash up, I’ve got to chop firewood, I’ve got to send emails, I’ve got to buy groceries, I’ve got to clean the house, I’ve got to get something organised for dinner, I’ve got to do four loads of washing, I’ve got to do this, I’ve got to do that…” and you just instantly feel massive black cloud just getting heavier and heavier, closing in on you from above, everything is compounded, everything is stressful, everything is heading South quickly. Can you feel your mind telling you that you’re feeling a little overwhelmed just reading this paragraph? The one simple little trick that can instantly help, and I mean instantly help, is to simply change the word ‘GOT’ to the word ‘GET’.
Am I serious? Have I read this far just for this? Yes! Changing one letter in one word can make a massive difference, and here is how it works.
You say all of the above, but you simply change the word ‘GOT’ to the word ‘GET’.
So instead of saying “I’ve got to do the washing, and I’ve got to buy groceries” you now say “I get to do the washing and I get to buy groceries”
How does that feel? When you hear yourself say “I get to do the washing, and I get to buy groceries” it instantly gives you an attitude change, right? Feels lighter to carry?
It turns things around from being heavy and stressful to being a privilege that I get to buy groceries. From here you feel the cloud lift and your mind might wander down different trails of thought maybe towards the thoughts that some people can’t buy groceries for their family, or some people don’t have a family to buy groceries for. Some people may have an empty nest and wish they had family back at home to buy groceries for. Some people live in a third world country and simply don’t have food let alone the ability to buy groceries as such, I am so grateful I am able to buy groceries and provide a healthy meal for my children… Whichever trail your mind travels down the main constant here is that you are now in a mindset of gratitude and positivity. So simply changing that one letter, changing the word ‘GOT to GET’ does take the pressure off instantly. Now I do this quite a lot because just like the rest of us in our current blindingly fast world, I’m very busy, I work full time, I have a property to look after, I have two beautiful children and a wonderful husband and I like to look after them and spend a lot of time them, I have a house (that maybe messy sometimes) but I have a house, I have wonderful clients, I have a beautiful family, I have amazing friends and simply changing the word ‘GOT to GET’ makes me feel good. Its that simple. It makes me feel good. So I choose to do it for myself.
And when my train of thought is on a good track everything gets done, the day unfolds and I come to the end of it and I say “I GET to tuck my children into bed” I get to do it today and I know there will come a time when I wont get to do it, so today it is a privilege.
The added bonus here is that we get to soak up all of those little things we often miss through our hectic/stressful days. We say “We get to drive the kids to school” and our mind acknowledges that and we feel the privilege that it is, and can fully experience and absorb what we are doing. Almost forcing ourselves to be completely present and live in the moment. Another aspect of living a fulfilling life, day by day. As a family photographer working all over Sydney I meet many wonderful families and they always say the best part of the experience was getting to spend quality time together as a family.
Do yourself a favour, try it for just one day. Change one little letter, in one little word, just for one little day.
You might love it, you might do it every day and given time, your subconscious mind will be trained to do this automatically and you will no longer have to catch yourself and turn yourself around.
If you need help please never be afraid to call for help, there are several avenues https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ https://www.lifeline.org.au/
family photographer sydney
Photo Credit: Anya Maria Photography
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Karen Ashcroft
Family Photographer Sydney
